The State of the Supergirl Fandom

Like most things in life there's not one single simple solution. Why don't we use this thread to brainstorm ideas on ways to respond when we see another fan behaving badly on social media.

I think that's a fantastic idea!!

Not sure if this counts as a way to combat bad fandom behavior, but maybe when the official Supergirl twitter account tweets something we can all (for those of us with twitter accounts) let them know how much we appreciate all their hard work. I, for one, am sick and tired of seeing their posts overrun by hashtags like #karamelisoverparty and #karamelendgame. I'd rather the SG account see tweets supporting their show not ships.

So here I m dipping my toes into this discussion. Not sure how much it will affect anything but here we go.

I do think the shipping polarizes the fandom. For me this takes the form of being pulled into it whether I want to be or not.

I'm not a strict shipper. In season one I was fine with Kara / James, thought Kara / Adam could have been interesting, was not a big fan of Kara / Winn (i like them as platonic friends better), same with Alex / Kara (I know the foster siblings thing has been done on other shows but for this one they were too strong in their sisterhood for me to see it), and thought Kara / Cat was very plausible (a number of shows have done the age difference fine).
I don't mind any gender parings as long as the story works.

For season 2 I had similar thoughts on pairings. But this is when things become difficult.

I think the writers misstepped with the Mon-El character. I liked him at the start and thought the Kara mentorship could be interesting and fun. But, they made him too much of a jerk to rush the romance with Kara like they did. If they would have made him less jerky (more of a lazy princeling goofball fish out of water) a romance that fast could have worked. OR (and the one I would have preferred) they could have kept him just how he was (really kind of a jerk) at the start and middle and let him make his redemption dejerkification before they started the romance (maybe pushing it back to the end of season 2 or the start of 3). But IMO they did not pull off doing both - because then while he was being a jerk he was in a relationship with Kara so he was being a jerk to her (his girlfriend) a lot of the time and that was uncomfortable for me to watch.

Now - my point of posting the above was not just to say all of that - I would love to have a discussion with people and say that and talk about it. But right now because of the shipping if I say that I found the Mon-El character uncomfortable then I am immediately put into the supercorp box, or supercat, or karaolsen.
If I don't think it was a good idea to put Kara and Mon-El in a relationship so fast it must be because I want her with someone else. Actually - if I had the creative magic wand I would have taken Kara at her word when she broke up with James to focus on her work and herself and kept her single this season. That could have been really good.

I really like this show and I hope it continues but parts of season 2 made me sad. I hope the writers fix some stuff for season three. I don't think those opinions are all that controversial. What become controversial is in either being placed into a "shipping box" or labeled an "anti" when I express them.

Ugh, Pedowitz annoys me, there's been MANY articles detailing how Mon-el is bringing down the show, plus the majority of the fandom hates the character but he's choosing to ignore this for some reason.

Just as I have asked that no one make broad generalizations about fandom groups like Supercorp or Karamel, or communities like the LGBTQ+, I will also ask you not to make broad sweeping statements about the Supergirl fandom as a whole.

As I've said before, there are the folks who are passionate enough about the show and aspects of it to be vocal. There are authors who write articles too (as you said), but I think the proof is in the pudding. I said earlier in this thread that The CW, or any network for that matter isn't going to make changes to their products (and that is was Supergirl is, a product to sell advertisements) without getting the metrics and data to back it up.

We don't work at The CW, Warner Brothers, or DC Comics and because of that no one has access to the giant information gathering algorithms that they do. Supegirl is a business and if Mon-El was truly a deal breaker for the show, then they wouldn't have brought him back. No one is going to have more access to that kind of information than Pedowitz, so that said I think the majority of silent fans, (which I have to assume out weighs vocal fans), enjoy Mon-El's character and that is why he's back.

I agree with some parts of what you said. We shouldn't make broad judgements about the fandom. I do think, however, like you said there are large nonvocal groups that like Monel there were also be an equal group of nonvocal fans that don't like him. I think it's probably about 50/50 on who like and doesn't like. That's just my opinion.
I'm not sure I agree about the numbers being high for the Monel character that's why the CW keeps him. Many CW reps have said many times how they love Chris Wood. And to be honest any press is good press so even with people hating Monel it's still getting them publicity. The CW wins either way. Advertisers just want to sell stuff they don't care about how. Just my opinion.

Ugh, Pedowitz annoys me, there's been MANY articles detailing how Mon-el is bringing down the show, plus the majority of the fandom hates the character but he's choosing to ignore this for some reason.

Just as I have asked that no one make broad generalizations about fandom groups like Supercorp or Karamel, or communities like the LGBTQ+, I will also ask you not to make broad sweeping statements about the Supergirl fandom as a whole.

As I've said before, there are the folks who are passionate enough about the show and aspects of it to be vocal. There are authors who write articles too (as you said), but I think the proof is in the pudding. I said earlier in this thread that The CW, or any network for that matter isn't going to make changes to their products (and that is was Supergirl is, a product to sell advertisements) without getting the metrics and data to back it up.

We don't work at The CW, Warner Brothers, or DC Comics and because of that no one has access to the giant information gathering algorithms that they do. Supegirl is a business and if Mon-El was truly a deal breaker for the show, then they wouldn't have brought him back. No one is going to have more access to that kind of information than Pedowitz, so that said I think the majority of silent fans, (which I have to assume out weighs vocal fans), enjoy Mon-El's character and that is why he's back.

I agree with some parts of what you said. We shouldn't make broad judgements about the fandom. I do think, however, like you said there are large nonvocal groups that like Monel there were also be an equal group of nonvocal fans that don't like him. I think it's probably about 50/50 on who like and doesn't like. That's just my opinion.
I'm not sure I agree about the numbers being high for the Monel character that's why the CW keeps him. Many CW reps have said many times how they love Chris Wood. And to be honest any press is good press so even with people hating Monel it's still getting them publicity. The CW wins either way. Advertisers just want to sell stuff they don't care about how. Just my opinion.

All good points. So good in fact that I think we've hit on a new realization. Whether fans like or dislike Mon-El is irrelevant because in the end, the viewers are there to hate him as well as the viewers are there to love him. If it doesn't hurt advertisement sales, then we all are going to get more Supergirl for many seasons to come. (also this is the 300th comment on this topic) WOW!

I had a long response but I axed it to say that there's a very aggressive hate campaign against Mon-El and the fandom will never be positive as long as this continues because this group ensures they spread their hatred everywhere, every hour, every minute.

And I suspect that even if Mon-El leaves, this will continue because this same group started a hate campaign when the Jack character played by Rahul was announced. We can't dismiss their actions when a one-episode actor had a negative experience with them.

I'm not trying to be defeatist but I don't think this fandom can turn back time as long as these shippers remain.

All characters have their detractors and I'm sure he'd still have had his without this but these shippers have taken it to an unbearable level. That's why I prefer to go to comic book sites like this to read recaps and comments because they aren't filled with shipper rhetoric, although I think one of the polls attracted more shippers to this site so I hope next season won't be different.

I actually find this saddening, has my favourite ever fictional character and TV series been reduced to shipping wars?. While I'm aware (through others on this site) of what goes on out in Social Media land it's probably something I had hoped could be avoided here, have a sheltered existence.

I think I'll just stick to enjoying the TV show and what I love about Supergirl, that being her good-hearted nature, optimism and of course the awesome heroine she is.

You seem to be missing the point that some are making. You can dislike a character without it being about a ship. Yes, there is definitely a shipping war but a few people on here just don't like Monel (no ship involved).

apparently discussing Mon-El negatively is just fine, but sharing a positive opinion about the man is something that must be snuffed out.

Can we do one thing before proceeding!? Can others please stop saying there's a Supergirl "fandom" problem? Because there's not. Us SUPERGIRL fans are over here doin just... fine. Please leave the Supergirl fandom out of the messes and bickerings.

Please and thanks *goes back to enjoying other fans, views, theories, predictions, Supergirl updates, and all cast members*

I wish I lived there with you......

I didn't see any hate or alarming items in the thread here so I let it go. Folks have continued to be passionate about their opinions but so far the name calling, attacks and snide comments seem to have been respectful. Of course I request that at any point if any of you feel things are getting out of hand to email me right away at the contact page and I will get on it asap.

As for the Mon-El character analysis going on. I don't mind it here. I think that because it is a large source of the division in the fandom, it's ok to talk through. Respectfully of course.

Although I realize his character is a big reason for the hate plaguing the fandom, I thought the thread was meant to focus on the bad behavior of fans, not him.

Mon-El is a very touchy subject here. There are some very passionate opinions surrounding him and I didn't want to see the discussion around the toxicity of our fandom and how to change it turn into an internet fight over him. That was my only concern.

thing is Mon-El isnt the real problem, he is simply the the current target because he happens to be in the way of an agenda campaigned by the supercorp fandom. Anyone in the way of that agenda gets attacked. I point to Jack Spheer played by Rahul Kohli as evidence who expressed his distaste for some of those fans because he received enough hate during his 1 episode stint to make a public statement.

just want to point out, and I know it's easy to forget to make the distinction, it's not the whole Supercorp group. There are actually many that are just as upset as everyone else.

Agenda seems to be a hot word that was lead to a bit of a land slide. I made some fast edits there.

Let me weigh in a bit. The tweet Kelly shared illustrates the shipping that is going on. I actually don't have a problem with it. It's like fan fiction.

What gets me concerned is the people, whomever group or non group, that are planning disruptions at comic con, harassing the actors and forcing other fans to have less access because of it.

The other day I saw someone tweet directly at Dean Cain that he should be fired from Supergirl for his political views. Why? He is a good actor and plays his part well. What does his personal life have to do with it.

It's that kind of thing that is worrisome

That is my biggest thing as well Eric, that worries me a lot....I posted the tweet with a little um, fear...lol But it was the best example of the constant that I see on Twitter and what is shown to me from tumblr...and some of it, I could not post here.

Finally, on a side note, kelsey and we're out and about today trying to buy up as many comic con TV guides with Supergirl on them as possible. Maybe we can get them signed at SDCC

Thanks for doing that, I assume you'll maybe run a competition for them but I would be prepared to negotiate a price with you to send one to me in New Zealand.

Note: I'm just referring to the TV Guide itself, doesn't matter if they're are signed or not, of course that would be an added bonus if they were signed.

kiwi, shoot me an email, I'll see what I can do. If we do a contest it might be for signed copies but if we have left overs I don't mind sending them to our non-US fans

Let me say where I'm coming from....

When I found out that they were going to write a story line about Alex coming out as gay, I was so excited because it made me think of a very good friend of mine that I have taught with for years. She has had the same partner for over 25 years, she is a wonderful teacher and loves her kids so much. But, for almost 2 decades she kept her sexual orientation quiet, only a few of us knew. Slowly but surely the kids found out, and to her shock....they were fine with it, but she was very afraid of losing her job over it. That didn't happen, but I remember how hard it was for her day in and day out to not be able to "be", if that makes sense. Knowing this story line was coming also reminded of a teen I had in my class 2 years ago who was in the process of gender reassignment. I knew, some of her other teachers knew, and the students knew....as the process continued she moved into her Sophomore year and away from the teachers, like myself that supported at the 9th grade center. The gender reassignment was moving forward and we knew that along with a change in name, the change in her heart, her mind and soul had changed as well and we were in support of that...some teachers were not and I watched as Angel had to deal with the hurt from some of these teacher's comments. I had several young girls in my classes this past year who are gay, and they loved this show....everything about it, made them feel good about themselves. It was the coolest thing to be able to talk to them about that....

But, there is a faction out in the world of social media, that took that story and fell in love with it, it pushed them forward in becoming they are supposed to be....but there was another group that sent this show in a negative turn....I am so thankful that none of the kids above have any clue about the negative that has been thrown as this series and its writers. They loved Kara for who she is, and they learned from her, they learned from Mon-el's journey, they learned from Alex's journey...and they loved every single minute of it.....

I wish I had what they have...I did during the first season, but now I see a lot of ugly, ugly comments that have nothing to do with what this series, these actors, these writers, these directors stand for. it makes me angry....because I know what we had.

I came into this fandom probably one of the most positive people on this site...and after all I've seen in social media took so much of that away....and I can't unsee those things, and its not a minority, no where near it....it permeates every single bit of this series no matter where it is, no matter if what is being talked about is positive on social media, this ugliness permeates that....and its sad, because I'm not sure how we will ever get that feeling back again as long as these fans like that tweet and others are a part of it. I don't see the light at the end of the tunnel....and I honestly, have never said that before in my life. I know that this is just a TV series, but you guys have no idea the wonderful, sweet, innocent, huge conversations that it has triggered with my students....heartfelt, beautiful conversations. I'm afraid that if they ever seek out other fans on social media, that ugliness will be what they see.

I apologize for the rambling....

Can we do one thing before proceeding!? Can others please stop saying there's a Supergirl "fandom" problem? Because there's not. Us SUPERGIRL fans are over here doin just... fine. Please leave the Supergirl fandom out of the messes and bickerings.

Please and thanks *goes back to enjoying other fans, views, theories, predictions, Supergirl updates, and all cast members*

I wish I lived there with you......

Oh there's AN issue...do not get me wrong. But peeps need to stop bringing in us Supergirl fans into all this shipper warfare crap. I, and many others, are getting annoyed that people keep saying the SUPERGIRL fandom has a problem. No...WE don't... SHIPPERS do. There's THE Supergirl fandom and then there's...

Sanvers
Supercorp
Karmel

Every overly heated, demeening, divisive debate involves these groups in one way or another.

Let's take a look:

When it was announced that Flo was NOT a recurring character for Season 3, attacks were slung everywhere that people, writers, exec prod were homophobic, or were simply gay baiting by writing Alex gay, or "buryng your gays," etc etc and that they were no longer watching such a show.

There's the literal hate for Mon-El by a vast amount of Supercorp fans. Aside from that, are the highly sexual or simply vile and/or foul mouthed laced tweets I've seen daily from Supercorp fans. Note... I said vast...NOT all.

And I have seen Karmel fans attack. In MUCH less numbers, mind you, and generally when having to defend themselves.

Amongst those groups lay 99% of the problems. From those groups come most of the hate slung comments--whether directed to other fans, the writers, the actors/actresses, or the show runners.

Yes... There are NON-shippers who don't like characters. That's how it is with EVERY show, book, movie, podcast. Ha... Max Lord wasn't everyone's fav last year. This year it's Mon-El. However, the despise for Max didn't come CLOSE to the comments made this year about a "controversial" character.

The vile comments, the hate spew towards characters is coming from SHIPPERS not the Fandom.

Chyler once said, after being told Alex was going to be gay, the execs warned her she needed to prepare herself for an influx of fans. Where were those fans last season? Dare I say NOT Supergirl fans... SANVER fans.

I wonder what would happen if Katie McGrath left the show or was... Killed off... Or... Had never been cast? Hmmmm..... Just fyi... I LOVE Katie. I LOVE Lena and what she's done for the dynamics of the show. But my gracious... So... much... drama outside of the show. If Katie left, would, too, the drama?

Yes, shippers are passionate. Passion is FANTASTIC for a show. Us non-shippers are passionate. But please... Stop lumping the Supergirl Fandom as part of the various Ship Fandom Warfares.

I've find myself referring to them as 'the fandom' as I don't really know what else to call them as they are an unfortunate subset of our entire fandom. Should we start calling them the shipping fandom? Shipdom? Any suggestions?

I've got some names for them, but I can't say them here.....LOL

Ugh, Pedowitz annoys me, there's been MANY articles detailing how Mon-el is bringing down the show, plus the majority of the fandom hates the character but he's choosing to ignore this for some reason.

Just as I have asked that no one make broad generalizations about fandom groups like Supercorp or Karamel, or communities like the LGBTQ+, I will also ask you not to make broad sweeping statements about the Supergirl fandom as a whole.

As I've said before, there are the folks who are passionate enough about the show and aspects of it to be vocal. There are authors who write articles too (as you said), but I think the proof is in the pudding. I said earlier in this thread that The CW, or any network for that matter isn't going to make changes to their products (and that is was Supergirl is, a product to sell advertisements) without getting the metrics and data to back it up.

We don't work at The CW, Warner Brothers, or DC Comics and because of that no one has access to the giant information gathering algorithms that they do. Supegirl is a business and if Mon-El was truly a deal breaker for the show, then they wouldn't have brought him back. No one is going to have more access to that kind of information than Pedowitz, so that said I think the majority of silent fans, (which I have to assume out weighs vocal fans), enjoy Mon-El's character and that is why he's back.

I agree with some parts of what you said. We shouldn't make broad judgements about the fandom. I do think, however, like you said there are large nonvocal groups that like Monel there were also be an equal group of nonvocal fans that don't like him. I think it's probably about 50/50 on who like and doesn't like. That's just my opinion.
I'm not sure I agree about the numbers being high for the Monel character that's why the CW keeps him. Many CW reps have said many times how they love Chris Wood. And to be honest any press is good press so even with people hating Monel it's still getting them publicity. The CW wins either way. Advertisers just want to sell stuff they don't care about how. Just my opinion.

All good points. So good in fact that I think we've hit on a new realization. Whether fans like or dislike Mon-El is irrelevant because in the end, the viewers are there to hate him as well as the viewers are there to love him. If it doesn't hurt advertisement sales, then we all are going to get more Supergirl for many seasons to come. (also this is the 300th comment on this topic) WOW!

Definitely true. I was a librarian for over 20 years and I can tell you the fastest way to get a book read, is to call it a banned book or give it a bad review. People love to watch a car wreck just as much as a good story. It's sad but true. Doesn't matter if it's a book, tv show or movie.

I'll just leave this hear

What's the post he replied to?

I am investigating that. i'll get back to you

Thanks. I'd love to know.

Man, it's just insane what has happened with subsets of the fandom, this year. Whether it's Karamel shippers, Supercorp shippers, or someone else. I'm aware that it's not all SG fans, or all Supercorp or Karamel shippers. But negative people in these subsets have been so insanely vocal this year, and it's unfortunately put a stain on the whole Supergirl fandom.

This stuff wasn't even an issue, a year ago. Not even slightly. Hell, last year, we were all just ecstatic that we were getting a second season! But now I see these twitter accounts that flip their sh*t when something doesn't go their way on the show! One account, in particular (who I will not name), threatens to stop watching, week after week, due to her hatred of Mon-El. Yet she always shows up the next week, to complain. She went as far as posting a self drawn comic of Kara beating the crap out of Mon-El, unprovoked, saying that's what she wanted to happen. It wasn't a costumed fight. It wasn't in defense. It was in civilian clothes, Mon-El saying a line from the show that was meant to be sweet, and Kara sucker punching him in full rage mode. It wasn't funny, or amusing. This supposedly "feminist" person, without a second thought, was basically promoting domestic abuse. Just because she ships Supercorp.

It just really rubbed me the wrong way, as someone who grew up with domestic abuse in the household. Despite being a male, I identify as a feminist. And every true feminist knows feminism is about equality, and wouldn't condone domestic abuse in any situation, against any gender.

And again, I know not everyone in Supercorp (or any subset of the fandom) is like this. But this was the first time I realized how out of hand certain members of our Supergirl fandom had gotten. It disgusted me.

thing is Mon-El isnt the real problem, he is simply the the current target because he happens to be in the way of an agenda campaigned by the supercorp fandom. Anyone in the way of that agenda gets attacked. I point to Jack Spheer played by Rahul Kohli as evidence who expressed his distaste for some of those fans because he received enough hate during his 1 episode stint to make a public statement.

I've been seeing this a lot lately, talk of an agenda. What agenda? I don't understand what people are considering their "agenda" to be?

For Lena and Kara to be a relationship on screen so they can have their ship

No, no, and no again. That is NOT true. I am a proud karolsen fan, and the reason I hate mon el has nothing to do with ships. Many others will tell you the same thing. This is homophobic BS that karamel shippers toss around to discredit antis.

no no no, you will not put words in my mouth, that is uncalled for. My sister is gay, my best friend is gay. I proudly walked in the march for pride so DO NOT come at me with that. keep it civilzed plz as I have not yet insulted or insinuated anything about you.

I would honestly hope you consider deleting this post as it is very offensive and disrespectful to me.

No, I will not. I called the shipping argument homophobic, not you. This is a very common thing in fandom; people ship a f/f pairing when one or more parties are in a (usually unhealthy) relationship with a man, and the m/f shippers accuse f/f shippers of having an "agenda" when they protest the m/f pairing. It happened in OUAT and things got nasty. Even in t100, where clexa was canon, bellarke shippers regularly lampoon clexa shippers. This isn't a new phenomenon, but I don't want to see it perpetuated here.

The "agenda" excuse ignores the fact that people have real, valid reasons for not liking mon el. It's a way to discredit people. I didn't mean to insinuate that you were homophobic, and I'm sorry that it seemed that way. That was not my intention. But saying that people only hate mon el for a f/f shipping agenda is homophobic.

SUCH a great response and write-up, Thalolli!! Here's MY two cents that I haven't really given. I've stayed out of most of the argument because I just want to be a Supergirl fan. The following ideas could go in the Mon-El thread, but the ending thoughts fit for ANY fan. So, I'm placing my thoughts here.

"Not to mention people who call Mon-El abusive, yet see nothing wrong with other characters who do things that are easily comparable if not worse than things Mon-El has done in the relationship."

I.e.... Maggie consitantly lying to Alex....Maggie cheating AND lying about it. Hmm... Isn't that exactly what Mon-El was doing--lying because he was ashamed of his past?

Then there's Kara. She hasn't been a Saint. Or James being ok with taking a baseball bat to thieves. Etc etc etc etc

The point is... First: this is a show.. fiction. Not real. I've read comments after comments on social media that very much concern me....people blurring the lines between what's real and what's fiction.

Second: People in life AND in fiction are imperfect. I've read comments made against Mon-El and many times have found myself thinking, "Yikes...if that's the standard that person has for a real relationship, that person will forever be a party of one." Example: my parents have been married since 1968. I've heard doors slammed. They've argued....and, oh my gosh...yes... sometimes even in public. But, that's reality, it's human, its growing. Relationships can be ugly because humans are... imperfect. My parents are incredible, and they are incredibly in love. That's what real relationships are like...giving, and taking, and learning, and forgiving, and forgiving again.

Yes, there ARE abusive relationships. There IS child abuse, spousal abuse, partner abuse. I taught 4 years at a lock-down facility for youth from all over the world... Famous kids to even a girl who lived by hopping train after train after train, to a girl who lived in a cardboard box in a Washington D.C. park. Kids who had been molested. Kids who had molested others. Little boys who were sold for sex so their moms could get drugs. I've seen it all. But, an argument between parents or an arguments between a parent and child, especially in a ficticious tv show written by a group of writers does in no way automatically mean they are headed down an evil or milicious path.

Sure wish some people in fandoms would bring it down a notch...step away and regroup himself/herself. I fear those who have so much vitrol against Mon-El or any character for that matter, have some deep seeded issues that need addressing. I fear many are projecting their real life issues onto a ficticional show. I fear they have a warped view on reality. I worry they don't realize there is no perfect relationship... that arguments or stumbling don't always mean devistation and abuse.

Here's an awful example but, if someone who was raped in real life watches a scene in tv show/movie of a character being raped, would that not affect them? Would it not bring up horrific memories?

If somebody were raped by a guy in a red hat and on the show they start watching the main character suddenly starts wearing a red hat and gives them flashbacks => would it make sense to demand the show change it?

What if you change it to a blue hat, and suddenly there's a different person who was raped by somebody in a blue hat?

If you had a friend in real life who started wearing a red hat you might tell them to please stop wearing it and if they are friend they would stop doing so. But a tv show is not your friend, no matter how much the PR department makes the actors pretend they are just like real friends to the viewers.

A show is watched by millions of people all over the world they can't account for every possibility. Because it's a tv show, not your personal friend. And that doesn't even cover things like making one group happy at the expense of another or at the expense of the artistic vision of the creator.

If a show causes somebody anguish rather than entertainment then imo they should stop watching for their own sake.

And nobody's saying their relationship needs to be perfect, just healthy.

A fictional relationship doesn't need to be healthy, it just needs to be interesting to watch. For example, there are a lot of ways it could be debated that at least some aspects of the Kara/Alex relationship are unhealthy, even if the participants are deeply well meaning.

Not to mention, people have relationship that are neither that healthy nor that unhealthy all the time. They are part of life.

And nobody's saying their relationship needs to be perfect, just healthy. Healthy couples argue, that's a fact. But they argue about inconsequential things; they don't lash out at each other over the basis of who each person is. If they do do that, can we really be calling them a healthy couple? If couples are finding so much fault in who their significant other is should that couple really be together?

Actually, healthy couples fight about all kinds of things, not all are inconsequential. But, that doesn't make them automatically unhealthy.

"If couples are finding so much fault in who their significant other is should that couple really be together?"

If you're referring to Mon-El and Kara, I can't answer that. It's a relationship created by writers, and we only see bits and pieces on screen of said fictional relationship. For all we know, they attend couple therapy.

But, as far as this relates to the Supergirl fandom: You're correct. People can watch something that for THEM is a trigger for a past experience. As a high school teacher, we have a way to work with that...a student can opt out of a book, a video, an assignment. They don't attack other students or the teacher because they don't choose to opt out also.

Another example: Working at lock-down, sex-ed was a whole different beast than in public school. The therapists and nurses showed very graffic sex-ed videos. If a therapist knew it was going to be a trigger for a student, arrangements were made. But, that didn't make sex bad because it was a trigger for others. Harsh example to what we are talking about, but I've seen very harsh, vile comments coming from shipdoms. My point... Relationships have their ugly moments. If some of the ugly is shown on tv, and its a trigger for someone, they shouldn't watch. But what is a trigger for someone doesn't mean it's bad for all. That trigger doesn't mean it's reality. It doesn't make it fact. Triggers can be REMINDERS of a past event. But it doesn't necessarily mean the past represents present.

If a group of writers and executives don't see a character as abusive, it's probable that character isn't abusive. Doesn't mean behaviors of said character won't trigger someone's personal experience. So my initial comments about fans who experience these triggers but then attack writers, actors, the rest of the fan base, THAT is what worries me.

But the big difference in all of these relationships is that they aren't being touted as the main relationship. Jack/Lena were barely given anything. Alex/Kara have shown how intense their relationship is, and those scenes aren't shown with quirky music in the background (like the DEO fight scene between Kara/Mon-El), they're meant to be serious and are shown as such. The writers have a bad habit of making light of the questionably problematic scenes between Kara and Mon-El; they shouldn't.

See, I deeply, deeply, disagree with that. The Jack/Lena scene was absolutely played out as very light hearted as well, as were a variety of scenes where Kara was "threatening" Mon-El with physical violence. And yet, it's only Mon-El that gets called toxic and an abuser by some. Directly, him the character. Not "the writing was too lighthearted in that scene, they shouldn't do that anymore in future scenes" but "Mon-El is evil and that's why he needs to leave and he is irredeemable". But again, by the same standard, Lena, who according to the show throw a hard object at her lover during a fight is not considered abusive and irreemable. Even though this is something that is part of her character and her history. If people assure me that Mon-El is evil and could never be a good guy, why should I believe that Lena could ever be a good guy then?

A lot of people use these scenes to lay complaint at the character. They judge the character and even worse they lay final judgement at the character. They don't accept any alternative interpretations and they also don't accept if the show moves on from that.

And no, the show hasn't at this point seriously adressed just how dark Alex sometimes gets. Alex was frequently shown drinking in ways that made her seem like an alcoholic, she has many times brutalized unarmed suspects (which was also often played for laughs), even ones who were already handcuffed, she has lied to Kara for years and used to shame Kara into hiding her powers (for Kara's own protection of course).

If we applied real life standards to Alex, Alex would be a horrible person. Picture the scene between Alex and Kara where Alex teaches Kara about fighting better as a father doing that with a son to "toughen him up". Would we really be rooting for them to hug it out and have cute sister moments at the end or would we be rooting for Kara to distance herself from that person?

I don't think that just because Kara and Mon-El traded kisses and somehow that translates to "status" in the mind of some people, that justifies why this character is the only character who should have those over the top harsh "realistic" standards applied to them when all other characters, even those who are being shipped romantically don't have those standards applied to them.

I don't consider myself a hardcore Mon-El fan. I like him well enough. But the way some of those anti-fans voice their dislike is just ridiculous to me. To me there are many complaints against Mon-El that to me have a lot more validity, like being boring or having too much screentime. So the way that some people exist that just obsess over this one angle which to me just doesn't have sufficient merit is just way more unsettling to me than anything I've ever seen on Supergirl.

The sentence I bolded really hit the nail on the head! I pretty much agree with you here. I just find it unfortunate for those who can no longer enjoy a show that once brought them joy.

But you can't make everybody happy. Kill off Mon-El, you make some people happy, you make others unhappy. Make Alex gay, you make some people happy, and others unhappy. You will never make all people in the world happy and I don't see what point there is to spend that much energy to make sure that every person in the universe is 100% happy with a fictional tv show.

I really enjoy Supergirl the show, I also like her in comics. If the show went into a direction I didn't like I would just bow out though.

People who don't have "agenda", if they don't like something, most of them move on and find something else. Supergirl is a lovely show, but there are many other shows out there, especially if you consider all the shows from the past like Buffy or Xena or Wonderwoman who are available via streaming or DVD, or various DC cartoon shows. Maybe if they took a breather and then came back they would realize that the things they thought were so horrible are a lot less severe than they initially seemed. Sometimes a bit of distance makes the heart grow fonder.

And if people have serious psychological backstory problems then we can't fix them. The show can't fix them. They are not their psychiatrists, the show are not their psychiatrists, the actors are not their psychiatrists. Of course it's a pity for every person who leaves, but you can't account for every potential version of preferences. And I don't see what the point is in obsessing over them. 12 Million people watched the first episode of Supergirl. Many of them didn't even watch the second episode. Only about half of them watched the season 1 finale, all before Mon-El was a character. Should we obsess over winning back every single one of them too? If the show would get more ratings if Melissa took her shirt off, or if they made Alex date men, should the show do that?

Like I said, if that person was a personal friend who asked you for a favor to act differently, of course you would do that if you are a nice person. But as a person you normally have a limited amount of friends and hence probably a limited amount of friends with traumatic backgrounds who make special requests of you. That just isn't the case on a tv show. And to me it just makes no sense to eternally obsess over those people. If a scene traumatized them, maybe they really should stop watching. Or take a break and come back with some distance.

No show is ever going to make everybody happy. Some people want more action, othes want more romance or more characters having deep talks. Some people want more characters from the comics books, others don't care. There will always be as many different tastes and as many personal stories as people watching.

And yeah, I'm also quite sick about talking about this, but the reason why I keep doing it is because I keep coming across people who say stuff that just strikes me as deeply unfair.

I don't know about anyone else but I am oh so ready to move on from reading about "ships" and "shipper fandom" and the amount of dislike for certain characters. It will be extra nice to hear from the cast (those people that actually entertain us) @ SDCC on Saturday with thoughts on their characters and hopefully some tidbits about Season 3.

Bring on Supergirl vs Reign in Season 3, that's what I'm anticipating the most.

AAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAMEN......