Real life shipping, is it too far?

I think if actors are dating in real life it is to some extent okay to say "yeah, I'm happy for them": Following them home and stuff naturally isn't okay. I'm not even sure I would consider that shipping.

I'm way more creeped out by people who "ship" people who to our knowledge aren't even together. (and yes this includes people who "shipped" Melwood before they officially became a couple and were still dating other people)

If actors date, it happens. If they break up, it happens. If they date, I'm happy for them, if they break up I hope they are fine and find happiness elsewhere. But to actively root for real life couples to split up? That is just gross to me. Break ups are not a fun thing. Why would you ever wish one on a person you claim to like? Just so you can fawn over the hypothetical pictures they would produce? Dating co-workers is not fun, again, not something I would ever actually wish on somebody.

If it happens, cool, I wish them happiness. But I would never root for anybody who isn't in a relationship like that to get into a relationship like that.

I never liked Elena and Damon on Vampire Diaries, but I still hoped for their sake that their off screen relationship would go well. And I felt bad for the people involved when it seemed like the breakup wasn't really 100% amicable. But I feel the same way when an actor gets divorced from a no-name significant over. It's just a sad thing. Just like it would be sad for anybody I now casually to get divorced.

I think this idea that people feel like they can dictate over who some lead actress has sex with and they know better than her who she should sex with and it is even their right and position to disapprove of who she has sex with really unsettling and I've seen it get below the belt A LOT. Of course it doesn't help when in this case the people who are dating on the show really are dating in real life, but hey on Glee Melissa didn't date the person who was her main romantic partner on that show, but somebody else. So when people make the leap of: I don't like her character with her fictional partner, I want her with this other fictional partner, that's why I will insist she has to break up with her real life partner and start having sex with the actor of this fictional partner I prefer. To me it's just new levels of disturbing.

And yes, before you ask, those are not hypotheticals. I've seen more than one person on tumblr who argued this and multiple people who liked their posts when they expressed that opinion.

Yeah, I'd say that's too far. I never got the fascination people have with celebrity couples to begin with (it doesn't affect me in any way. If they're happy good for them) Shipping people seems worse, particularly if they aren't even dating. It's like some form of speculative voyeurism. Yikes!!

When shipping becomes stalking, it stops being a fan thing and starts being a crazy person thing.

When you actually meet an actor, sports figure, musician, etc. always remember one thing - they're human and they're simply fulfilling a particular role at a particular time. Be kind, courteous and respectful and know that this meeting is, by and large, nothing overly personal and should be treated as such. Doing so respects their boundaries and keep you (the fan) grounded as to who or what this person actually is or what they represent.

Indeed, Rom, indeed.

"You don't own them. Don't make demands."

The is the best thing I've heard out of people on this site. The whole fandom should take heart, not just in relation to the actors, but also the fiction aspect.

If shippers understood that sentence, (there's be no more shippers really), all problems solved.

It's baffling and very sad that this is not common sense when it comes to real people. Fictional ships I can see in some instances (I.e a demand for more interracial/LGBT couples), but demanding that "real" ships happen just.....blows my mind.

"Bughead" is the ship name for Betty and Jughead.

"You don't own them. Don't make demands."

The is the best thing I've heard out of people on this site. The whole fandom should take heart, not just in relation to the actors, but also the fiction aspect.

If shippers understood that sentence, (there's be no more shippers really), all problems solved.

Oh? I didn't know this happened. That is sad and scary. And it'd likely be too worrisome for the actors--to watch your every word. (They are not national/international leaders for heaven's sake; not those guys' personal relationships should be tracked; but, I am just saying we expect our actors to be superheroes, which I think is extremely unfair to them.)

The whole SDCC fiasco was also because people didn't expect them to be human who make mistakes and cannot be omniscient.

Just enjoy them for their talent; be happy if they support/share your ethical views because it is nice to feel that, but let them be themselves and do not make demands of them except that they give their best to the shows that they work on.

You don't know where they are coming from. So, do not judge.

You don't own them. So, do not make demands.

PS: What is a bughead? And who would give that for a shipname? (It sounds like some weird demon from Buffy with a bug for a head).

When you actually meet an actor, sports figure, musician, etc. always remember one thing - they're human and they're simply fulfilling a particular role at a particular time. Be kind, courteous and respectful and know that this meeting is, by and large, nothing overly personal and should be treated as such. Doing so respects their boundaries and keep you (the fan) grounded as to who or what this person actually is or what they represent.

You hit the nail on the head with this. I grew up and still live in the San Francisco Bay Area. It's not LA but we have our share of celebrities. I've driven past Skywalker Ranch my whole life, the original site of Industrial Light and Magic (ILM) was 20 minutes from my childhood home. I went to school with the children of people in the entertainment industry both film and music. There was a kid in my class and his younger brother who annoyed us on the playground because they would not stop bragging that their father thanked them by name in his Academy Award acceptance speech. One of my best friends was the daughter of a fairly famous musician and I had no idea until I was about eight, to me her was just her dad.

Our parents taught us to leave people alone and that it was rude to walk up to someone walking down the street or eating in a restaurant and act like we know them or that they owe us their attention. Earlier this year my family attended the memorial service for a neighbor of my parents. He had worked for ILM and his work will forever live on. I went to school with his son, we had kinda lost touch but I wanted to tell him I was sorry for his loss. I won't name check but there were famous people at this memorial. I'm proud to say not a single person asked for an autograph or selfie or even acknowledged the celebs in attendance, we were all just people attending a memorial service.

The unfortunate thing nowadays is that people have a very hard time separating fact from fiction, illusion from reality and the definition of personal boundaries. This is a collective let-down of the social (family rearing), educational (critical thinking) and public education (global awareness) systems.

Having a momentary crush on or freak-out moment for a favourite celebrity (actor, musician, sports star, etc.) is fine since this has happened since the dawn of time, but it should only be that - momentary.

When you actually meet an actor, sports figure, musician, etc. always remember one thing - they're human and they're simply fulfilling a particular role at a particular time. Be kind, courteous and respectful and know that this meeting is, by and large, nothing overly personal and should be treated as such. Doing so respects their boundaries and keep you (the fan) grounded as to who or what this person actually is or what they represent.

And, as you can guess, no, I'm definitely not a proponent of "shipping" in any way, shape or form. Those types of far-fetched illusions are best left on the screen (where they belong).

As far as the set is concerned, yes they have bodyguards.....and honestly, I don't think anyone is going to harm the actors....what I'm talking about as far as the set visits and how closely fans interact with the actors is that in some fans it builds a false idea of friendship with the actors, and for some fans that is a catalyst to some pretty unhealthy reactions that, for the most part, end up manifesting themselves on tumblr, instagram and twitter. Once that happens, you now have the problem of a fan's obsession over a character on a show now has moved to the personal. Allowing fan interaction like they do in Vancouver....whichever show you are talking about, IMO, has led to a lot of the problems we see on social media. IMHO, only fans such as the girl scouts from the last couple years, and other kids groups should have set access. Other than that, the fans should be kept at a distance....behind a line that is being watched....and if the actors choose to come over and converse, then they have that option...but what happened on the "Riverdale" set was ridiculous and should have NEVER been allowed to happen. Especially since one of the new actresses coming on this season is getting death threats from people because they are afraid she will break up the ship "Bughead". So freaking crazy.

Wait, what happened with Riverdale??

Forgive me, I don't know all of the actors names on Riverdale, but it is the actress that I believe plays Betty.....apparently some fans (from what I could gather from her tweets and some of the paparazzi that was there), she was pretty much mobbed and I believe got some unwelcome hugs and it frightened her pretty bad. She was not a happy camper and the paps that were there said she had every right to be mad. I could be leaving a WHOLE LOT out of the story...lol, but that is what I gathered from the tweets.

As far as the set is concerned, yes they have bodyguards.....and honestly, I don't think anyone is going to harm the actors....what I'm talking about as far as the set visits and how closely fans interact with the actors is that in some fans it builds a false idea of friendship with the actors, and for some fans that is a catalyst to some pretty unhealthy reactions that, for the most part, end up manifesting themselves on tumblr, instagram and twitter. Once that happens, you now have the problem of a fan's obsession over a character on a show now has moved to the personal. Allowing fan interaction like they do in Vancouver....whichever show you are talking about, IMO, has led to a lot of the problems we see on social media. IMHO, only fans such as the girl scouts from the last couple years, and other kids groups should have set access. Other than that, the fans should be kept at a distance....behind a line that is being watched....and if the actors choose to come over and converse, then they have that option...but what happened on the "Riverdale" set was ridiculous and should have NEVER been allowed to happen. Especially since one of the new actresses coming on this season is getting death threats from people because they are afraid she will break up the ship "Bughead". So freaking crazy.

Wait, what happened with Riverdale??

As far as the set is concerned, yes they have bodyguards.....and honestly, I don't think anyone is going to harm the actors....what I'm talking about as far as the set visits and how closely fans interact with the actors is that in some fans it builds a false idea of friendship with the actors, and for some fans that is a catalyst to some pretty unhealthy reactions that, for the most part, end up manifesting themselves on tumblr, instagram and twitter. Once that happens, you now have the problem of a fan's obsession over a character on a show now has moved to the personal. Allowing fan interaction like they do in Vancouver....whichever show you are talking about, IMO, has led to a lot of the problems we see on social media. IMHO, only fans such as the girl scouts from the last couple years, and other kids groups should have set access. Other than that, the fans should be kept at a distance....behind a line that is being watched....and if the actors choose to come over and converse, then they have that option...but what happened on the "Riverdale" set was ridiculous and should have NEVER been allowed to happen. Especially since one of the new actresses coming on this season is getting death threats from people because they are afraid she will break up the ship "Bughead". So freaking crazy.

The set being open is a great thing I think. The studio likely does that because they think people are normal people like we'd think people are, and not the insane horde of "shippers" that regular people would have never seen coming. The mentality of shipping as a whole is to blame. Why on earth would you like a franchise just to obsess over an imagined pairing?

^^^I think fictional shipping is damaging enough lol from what we can see. So I believe we agree

First time in a LONG time I've seen everyone on the same page. And I agree. This real life shipping BS is unhealthy. I personally think people take the shipping of fictional characters too seriously (just my opinion, you all have the right to yours). But throwing real life people into that category, and getting mad at them for not being with who you want them to be with in real life? Just scary.

Let people live their lives.

As for locking down the set...I can't say, I've never been to Vancouver. But I would imagine that they've got bodyguards and such, on set. Sure, you can get long distance BTS photos. But I've never seen one taken close enough to imply the fan taking the photo could do some harm.

Either way, I'd err on the side of caution, as well. I'd happily give up BTS stuff, just so the actors could be safer.

Honestly, from a spoiler standpoint, I might actually prefer it. I would like what's coming up to be a surprise, lol. Locking down sets would go a long way in that respect.

Glad we are all united on this, bias on the fiction aspect notwithstanding

Shipping real people is so gross, and some of the melwood shippers are...scary, for lack of a better word. They're obsessed with them. Like, if you wanna obsess over fake people, thats fine, but real people? That's creepy.

This is horrible behavior! Just because a person makes a living in front of a camera doesn't mean they forfeit the right to a personal life. I say except for kids and the adults accompanying them lock down the sets. I'm perfectly willing to go without BTS pictures if it stops this nonsense.

Mainly on Instagram in comments of photos

And then there was some crazy fan that stalked them to their house? YIKES.

Unfortunately that happens far too often, and with the series filmed in Vancouver, I think the CW has allowed the fans far too much one on one with the actors...parents bringing children on to the set to meet Melissa....that isn't a problem, but from the fan videos I have seen, it blows my mind just how close they are to the actual filming. It just isn't safe, and I hope that they lock down their set much better in the future.

I think it's a Vancouver thing. OUAT films up there, and that's an abc show, but I've heard their fans have similar free rein.

Mainly on Instagram in comments of photos

And then there was some crazy fan that stalked them to their house? YIKES.

Unfortunately that happens far too often, and with the series filmed in Vancouver, I think the CW has allowed the fans far too much one on one with the actors...parents bringing children on to the set to meet Melissa....that isn't a problem, but from the fan videos I have seen, it blows my mind just how close they are to the actual filming. It just isn't safe, and I hope that they lock down their set much better in the future. Some fans get a warped since of entitlement and supposed friendship with these people that just isn't there, and it can lead to some pretty unhealthy obsessions.